User blog:N6T4/Jeff Logs
WARNING The Jeff Logs are now considered level 2 cannon which means that every thing here is considered cannon unless disproven. DO NOT USE THIS TO LEARN ABOUT THE STORY OF THIS WIKI Jeff Log 1 Jeff: I've woken up in this strange place. Jeff: Its cold but I've gotten used to it. Jeff: Its cool in all but I still am alone, I just want a friend. Jeff: I've tried to talk to other fish but they all just run away. Jeff: I will try to make new friends tomorrow but for now I'm going to sleep good night. Jeff Log 2 Jeff: It is morning again, nothing has changed Jeff: I have learned how to talk like somebody cool, or at least what they think is cool Jeff: I have good news, I have met a friend Jeff offmic: say hi ???: Hi! Jeff: apparently, his name is Bob Jeff offmic: can you tell me about yourself? Bob: my name's Bob, I am an Arctic Peeper, I have a house in the Twisty Bridges, I mean thats what I call it Jeff: can I crash there tonight? Bob: your gonna have to pay rent Jeff: K Jeff Log 3 Jeff: Hi, today Bob has told me to pay for the rent so I'm going to the bank Jeff okay, I'm coming back from the bank, I thought I didn't have a bank account but I do have one with only 100, that is probably enough but only for one day, I need more $, I'll go to the store later to get stuff that I might need for a job Jeff: I'm back from the store, the only thing that I got that could help me get a jo- MIC: ERROR 5333: AUDIO LOG CORRUPTED '''BY UNKNOWN ENTITY Jeff Log 4 Jeff: Hi, yesterday's incident generated enough $ to buy me a house and do stuff Jeff: Ok me and Bob are going to the hover park today too Jeff offmic: is that right, Bob? Bob: yep Jeff: we're here! Bob: all right! Jeff: Which board do you want? Bob: what about you? Jeff: I'm a HoverFish, we hover all the time Bob ok then I would choose the one with a mudfish on it but it costs more money than I am willing to spend so I'll buy the one with the Aurora painted on it Jeff: You know I can buy the other one for you Bob: K then Jeff Log 5 Jeff: Hi, I have news, I now am starting an organization so I could get more money to buy something that might restore my memory cuz those things cost A LOT, and anyways I spent almost all my money on building a headquarters and a phone Jeff: what is that?!? ???: that is a model 905 Jeff: a model what-what-what? Jeff: whatever that was did remind me of something Jeff: I'll just go to Bob's now news reporter offmic: BREAKING NEWS! a warper has been attacking citizens of twist town! residents of twist town are suggested to stay inside Jeff: whats's a warper? ???: translating... a warper means a toilet in garyfishian Jeff: who are you?! Bob: who are you talking to? MIC: I am your Micro Info Chip or M.I.C for short Jeff: M.I.C is still too long, how about I call you Mike Jeff Log 6 Jeff: Hi guys, I've got some news Mike offmic: WARNING! THREAT APPROACHING Jeff offmic: What is it!? Mike offmic: It appears to be King Void Jeff: HUH? KSD is the king, whatever just deploy the decoy Mike: Deploying Decoy '''Mike must have a secret Jeff Log 7 Jeff: I have contacted a hacker to find out Mike's secret N6T4: Hi H4xZ3R: Wut do u want N6T4: pls just hack this: 01001101 01001001 01000011 H4xZ3R: dat will cost 100 N6T4: K H4xZ3R: Ive found this in the program: 01010011 N6T4: k Jeff: after running this code through a translator I've got this: Subject #5333 Jeff: Well, I've left the code with H4xZ3R so he could get more info so yeah, bye! Jeff Log 8 News Reporter: BREAKING NEWS! the "item" has been stolen! if you know any info on where the "item" is please call 763-283-119 Jeff: Huh? what is this "item" I better ask Bob Jeff offmic: HEY, BOB Bob: what is it? Jeff: The "Item" has been stolen! Bob: Yeah, it's been all over the news Jeff: and I think I knew who stole it Bob: WHO?!? Jeff: three people! Bob: are you serious? that does not help, I mean KSD's lava lizard guards should already know that Jeff: well I also have concluded that they are not the people who made Mike because if they were, H4xZ3R would know Jeff Log 9 Jeff: come on... Yes! Mike: Welcome back Jeff Jeff: I missed you buddy Mike: WARNING! land will begin being destroyed in 5 minutes Jeff: BOB! Bob: What?! Jeff: We Need to evacuate! NOW! Bob: to where Mike?! Mike: locating... Found, go to the safe shallows Bob: Ok, Get into the SeaTruck Jeff: the Sea what? Bob: Just follow me! Jeff: ok Bob: ugh, it'll take at least 1 hour Mike: Jeff, you drive Jeff: ok? Mike: speed module Mk. II created Jeff: do you have some autopilot mode, Bob? Bob: yep! Jeff: ok, let's go! Jeff Logs 10 Jeff: We're here! Bob: Wow! That was fast Jeff: Yeah, because of the speed module Bob: let's get out, we should check around Jeff: ok, we do need a place for a camp Bob: Oh yeah, since my house was destroyed Jeff: I'll go to those creepvines, you go to the aurora. If we find nothing we'll come back and look in the other directions Bob: ok! Jeff: This place is so cool, I wish I lived here. maybe if we had protection I would go here ???: Oh, look a HoverFish, maybe I could keep it as a pet ZzZzZz ???: Ouch! HoverFish don't do that normally Jeff: Well, that's what you get for trying to keep me ???: Oh, it's sentient Jeff: Heck yeah I am. All I'm trying to do is to find a place to put a camp ??? Oh, I know what it's like. Jeff: ok maybe you could help me find somewhere ???: ok POP Jeff: This place seems safe, thanks, what's your name? I owe ya one Fingernails Suz: Fingernails Suz, what's yours? Jeff: Lord Jeff or just Jeff Fingernails Suz: ok bye n- Jeff: wait! can you get my friend, Bob here Fingernails Suz: Ok POP Bob: what then fu- Fingernails Suz: nope POP Bob: who was that guy Jeff: Oh, you mean Fingernails Suz, yeah I met him in the kelp forest Jeff Log 11 Bob: ugh, if only we had a bed Jeff: and a computer Mike: but I'm a computer Jeff: not that kind of computer Bob: well there is the seatruck, that has a computer and a bed Jeff: I know, but we're too far away D-DInk Jeff: this is awesome Bob: what's awesome? Jeff: I had this lifepod thing built so I could move out Bob: why didn't you use it sooner? Jeff: because it literally just was made. there is one problem though Bob: what is it? Jeff: it only has 1 bed Bob: I guess we'll have to take shifts Jeff: yeah or I'll sleep on the bed and you'll sleep on the ground Bob: I think the latter sounds better but maybe we could take shifts on who gets to sleep on the bed Jeff: I guess I'll get it dropped here Bob: ok Jeff Log 12 Jeff: It's finally here! Bob: alright! D-Dink Bob: what is it this time? Jeff: KSD wanted some help finding the "item" Bob: so? Jeff: I know where it is now Bob: WHERE?!? Jeff: it is not on this planet Bob: how does that help?!? Jeff: Well, he just wanted me to help figure out where it is Bob: that makes sense Jeff Log 13 Bob: You're back! Jeff: Yeah and since I went KSD got me a house near JFHQ Bob: When are you moving out? Jeff: 4/4 Bob: Better get packing Jeff: Oh yeah, KSD also gave me a personal assistant Mike: Are they here to replace me? Jeff: Sometimes I wish, anyways meet this guy! Slava: He's talking about me! Slava! Future member of the lava lizard guard! Bob: Then why are you here? Slava: Well, KSD assigned me to Jeff Jeff: offmic: Its Lord Jeff to you! Slava: So I can Prove that I can guard people Bob: Ok, that's cool Jeff: Mike, make an event on 3/31 Mike: What will it be named? Jeff: Pack up Mike: Event created Jeff Log 13.5 Bob: Where is Jeff? Huh? new job Jeff Log 14 Bob: what are you doing? Jeff: training with Slava Slava: Yeah! Lord Jeff is a great sparring partner Bob: glad to hear that! can I watch? Slava: yeah! Various Grunting Sounds ZAP Slava: that's one good attack! Jeff: thanks! Bob: why are you even training? Jeff: A, for Slava to get better at fighting and B, because of the Jeff Foundation, I'm going to need to do all kinds of work Bob: well that makes sense Jeff: oh yeah! I forgot! Slava, do you want to join the Jeff Foundation, you can get some training Slava: Yes Lord Jeff! Bob: by the way, what's that attack? Jeff: Electric grasp, I focus my electricity into the shapes of human hands Slava: yeah! it's a good attack! Bob: ok, I'm heading inside Jeff Log 15 Jeff: Gotta pack my things up Slava: yeah! Bob: Why? Jeff: we are going to go to my new house to look at it Bob: and? Jeff: I'm also going to go to meet my coworkers Bob: I thought you already met them Slava: yeah... they all were somewhere else because of something they needed to do Jeff: They also want me to so I can be examined Bob: why? Jeff: we were supposed to do it last time Bob: ok Jeff: get some transport while we're gone Bob: ok Jeff Log 17 Jeff: Oh crap! Slava: what? Jeff: I need to get to work soon! get the toast Slava: ok Jeff: ready to go? Slava: yep! wait my spear! Jeff: ok VROOM Jeff in a very serious tone: buckle your seatbelt Slava: ok CLICK Jeff: Mike, go to work Mike: ok, going to work Jeff Log 18 Jeff: let's crank it up to 21 News Reporter offmic: more places around 4546b have been destroyed by the- Jeff: Nope. let's try 35 DESPACITO- Jeff: NOPE. how about 42 ???: It is time to invade this- Jeff: Nope. let's try 3 UNKNOWN 4: give up with all attempts to recover the "item" Jeff: ok Mike, remember "Give up with all attempts to recover the item" Mike: I will remember that Jeff Log 19 Jeff: Hey, check this out CoWorker1: what is it? Jeff: I created a program that figures out what your titinium form is like CoWorker1: so how does it work? Jeff: well some experiments I did showed that titinium forms correlate with your personality and your titinium capacity so I created something that takes those two things and puts them together plus your body to create a titinium form CoWorker1: I was asking how do you use it? Jeff: you answer a few questions and it can come up with what your titinium form would look like and how powerful it would be CoWorker1: can I test it? Jeff: yes BEEP BOOP BEEP BEEP CoWorker1: I. Look. Awesome. Jeff: What's your power level? CoWorker1: 1 Jeff: I got a 5 CoWorker2: now can I try? Kris: yeah, me too Jeff: yes and yes BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP CoWorker2: Really? I look so ugly but I'm so powerful Jeff: what did you get? CoWorker2: I got a 4/5 Jeff: It's out of 10 BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP Kris: I look like a beast Jeff: and have the power of a beast because you got a 7 Slava: I wanna try too! Jeff: Let's do that when we get home Jeff Log 20 Part 1 Jeff: I propose that we send a manned mission to one of our moons CoWorker1: but anyone who will go there will die! Jeff: good point but I have a solution to that problem. a few snowstalkers have reported seeing a suit that the humans have made lying around so maybe we can reverse engineer that and create our own suits CoWorker1: humans don't need water to survive! we do! Jeff: that is why we will send Peebs to space Peebs: peanut butter dance! peanut butter dance! Kris: we shouldn't send a mini-human who can only say "peanut butter dance", we should send a snowstalker Jeff: yeah, good point CoWorker2: just how will we get there? Jeff: the most efficient way to get there is through this solo project I have started. project Hole Part 2 Boss: what is project Hole Jeff: it is a project to create portals to alternate universes Boss: KSD has already made those Jeff: can anyone go through them, no. I am planning to make a vehicle that can make these portals and go through them Boss: is it ready? Jeff: it cannot go through realities but it can travel large distances Boss: how far? Jeff: to at least other planets in our solar system Boss: project approve- CoWorker1: I don't feel so good- CoWorker2: me neither Kris: Oh no! building's collapsing! Slava: I don't wanna go yet, I don't wanna go Jeff: Come on, you're gonna make it Slava: I can't Jeff: goodbye Slava, run! WARRR Jeff: so this is how it all ends, don't even know who I really am Mike: titinium transfer sequence activated Jeff Log 21 Crying in background Kris: hang on... Jeff could still be alive Slava: How do you know? Kris: using the life scouter I made I found heat signatures in the wreckage Slava: how do you know it is not heated wreckage Kris: we don't, the life scouter is still in the testing stages of development Slava: Well, hopefully, it worked Clanking in background Kris: I've found the body! Slava: ok, Mike, is Jeff alive Mike: Yes, subject #5333 is still alive Slava: yes! Jeff Log 22 Jeff: I have discovered something about the disappearances KSD: what? Jeff: the people with less titinium have a higher risk of disappearing KSD: ok, how could- Jeff: therefore, people who have lower titinium levels should have some external titinium storage KSD: but that's impossible Jeff: no it's not, I have an implant that stores titinium for later so all I got to do is reverse engineer it so I can make some. all you have to do is distribute them KSD: ok Jeff Log 23 Jeff: so... what is this "hafaf al' arwah" thing Alealamia: I don't know, the only thing they told me was that it existed and it obviously is powerful because they were talking about how powerful it is, but they used weird science terms that mean nothing to me cuz all I know is how to survive on water worlds Jeff: what is the quickest route to get to earth from here? Alealamia: there is a phase gate somewhere near here Jeff: a what-what Alealamia: a phase gate, you know those big portal things that teleport ships to nearby phase gates Jeff: do you know the coordinates? Alealamia: only the coordinates to the nearby planet 4646B Jeff: can you type the coordinates in here Alealamia: ok Jeff Log 24 Jeff: Do any of you see anything here? Miscregoo: Nope Jeff: Over here? Jay: Nope Jeff: Come on! all they told us was that it is in a biome to the west of the island Jay: well those stories were written a LONG time ago Jeff: that is true so maybe it is- inaudible mumbling Jay: Jeff? Jeff! Jeff: oh yeah, so what I come up with is that it has disappeared, become another biome or the people who wrote the story have 0 sense of direction Miscergoo: well, in that case, how can we find the portal Jeff: We just do it Jeff Log 25 Jeff: does anyone here know how to disarm a bomb? All: No Jeff: ok then, what about surgically removing a bomb? All: no Jeff: well I guess I have to go to the next group Bob: wait! I know how to disarm a bomb Jeff: you do? Bob: Well I'm not the best but I can disarm some bombs Jeff: ok then, follow me Jeff Log 26 Jeff: anything here Jay: NOPE Miscergoo: hang on... I think I see something in that cave Jeff: lead the way Jay: you mean that cave, NOPE, to big for that Jeff: ok then Miscergoo: What is that? Jeff: What is what? I don't see anything Miscergoo: it looks like one of those interdimensional wormhole things you keep showing me Jeff: In that case, it might be the portal we've been looking for, kowabunga! Runs into wall Jeff: What? Miscergoo: the portal is over there Jeff: oh, let's just call it a day Category:Blog posts